hello people!

Clinique Long Last Lipstick in 17 Watermelon

2011-12-25T13:04:00.007+08:00

"Clinique did something utterly remarkable in 1997: Bottled happiness."

I saw this somewhere on the Clinique website.
AND I AGREE.

This is the Clinique Long Last Lipstick in 17 Watermelon. A blue-based bright pink that is bold yet wearable anytime. Smooth, creamy and very good pigmentation, it can be worn sheer as a pink stain on the lips or layered to pack a punch. Blue based, it also makes teeth appear whiter.

My favourite lipstick as it is very moisturizing and I would give it a

Rating: 8/10

I got it through a lippie swap with C but you can get it at Clinique counters or Sephora for less than S$40.

Rimmel Moisture Renew Lipstick in 440 Plumful

2011-12-25T00:24:00.007+08:00

I've decided I'm going to do a review on all my lip products and I've grabbed a couple lipsticks lying around.

One of them is Rimmel Moisture Renew Lipstick in 440 Plumful. I would say it has amazing pigmentation and perfect shade.

Dark shade lipsticks usually get too brown or too red and makes you look either too gothic or too garish.

This is the perfect shade for me as and has good color payoff. A few swipes from the bullet and I'm good to go.

For reference, I am Mac NC25-30 with yellow undertones.

It's moisturizing and does not settle or crease and does not leave a ugly brown rim around your lips after it fades.

I have a huge problem with its scent and packaging though. For one, it smells like the Nivea products. Strong and um, flowery? Just a heady fragrance that makes me gag when I put on the lipstick and/or when I accidentally ingest some of it (inevitable with lipsticks, okay). So disappointing! It would be my favorite lipstick if not for that nasty smell.

With the packaging, the ugly neon purple and tacky plastic bullet is a bit too...80s for me. P has told me its for teenagers looking for cheap makeup to experiment with. That does not excuse the ugly packaging so, no, thank you.

I would say it is on par with other high end brands (in terms of creaminess and pigmentation only) and color is similar to the Tom Ford Orchid Black, although that has a purple undertone and this is red.

If not for the smell and taste, I would definitely repurchase but I'd give it a
Rating: 5/10

I got it from a drugstore (I think Guardian). Its S$17-20.

My nicer lipsticks are next!

Beauty Blog

2011-12-24T22:14:00.005+08:00

Obviously, as some of you know, the path I am going towards will eventually lead me to turn this blog into a beauty blog.

In my life, I've had many loves but none are as long lasting as my love for makeup.

Also, I'm never without my iPhone so I am blogging from my phone.

So the font, format, etc might be shit.

(Alright I had to use the computer to edit this. Font size too small and pics too large. Now the words are huge but I am always a bit blind anyway.)

Let's look at the Sephora lipstick in R20 Honey Cream. It is a beige with pink undertone. Perfect for a nude look. Pastel cream, very opaque and good pigmentation. Smells amazing, like cotton candy and vanilla.

Also, cheap at S$24.

However it's drying, can accentuate any dry bits on lips and gather in creases and wrinkles. So I won't recommend it unless you have no money and ABSOLUTELY have to get a lipstick.
Which was what I did.

As its main problem is its dryness, I'd suggest getting Topshop's lipstick in Nevada. Similar nude but more sheer and more moisturizing. Also cheaper at S$20.

Rating: 4/10

2011-04-25T21:09:00.002+08:00

Like music that keeps playing in your head long after it has stopped.

Like the woman you still see as beautiful after she has turned into a monster.

Like the rainbow you missed as you walked home with your head down.

Like the pages you skimmed through and read nothing.

Like the way you say "I love you" but do you really want to? Do you really?

Like staring out of the window and glassy eyes stare back at you. But there is no fear. It is a mutual understanding of the unknown.

Like the sound of howling deep within your dreams that take you back to where you came from- a land where sound merges into light and light merges into a vortex and the land subsides.

Be afraid of the one who writes with no force on the paper.

Be afraid of the absence of will and humanity.

Be afraid of indelible writing with no point of view.

Be afraid of this.

2011-04-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

Never want to be old

And I don't want dependence

It's no fun to be told

That you can't blame your parents anymore

If you say that you can listen to woes without pain, you are merely a listener and do not empathize. To empathize is to open that door of sorrow and stand in the same room as the person. You see what he sees and feels what he feels. Yet you cannot truly understand, for you cannot stand in the exact same position he is standing nor feel what is in his heart. But nevertheless, you are beside him and that itself is a comfort.

I'm finding it hard

To hang from a star

Don't want to be

Never want to be old

And you're standing in your room but the furniture have taken the left and right walls as the floors. So which is the floor? Which side am I supposed to be on?
TRY THE MIDDLE WAY.
But I can't walk in the middle! Is that the floor?
No.
You fall through so suddenly because that is not the floor. There is no floor. You did not define it.Therefore it did not exist.

Qns: How much dirt is there in a 50 by 50 by 50?
How much wood does a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Ans: None! It is a hole!

And you fall and fall and fall, faster and faster, faster faster faster. A short low humming begins. It builds up all around. Now where did I leave that pen?
There is no time left. This will not be like Alice in Wonderland. You know you will not land softly. If you hand catches anything on the sides a finger will go.

You are falling faster and faster. You know it is ending. Split second now, you screw your eyes...

You prepare...the lovely, the beautiful explosion.

There are five kinds of healing. A healing of the attitude, the natural immune system, medical science, miracles, and...dea-

But suddenly a scream is emitted from the pit. A howl, a screech, a shriek. It goes straight to heaven and pierces the skies.

You hang motionless in the air

Sullen and bored the kids stay

And in this way they wish away each day?

Stoned in the mall the kids play

And in this way wish away each day?

Humming humming droning around me.

I don't really know
If I care what is normal
And I'm not really sure
If the pills I've been taking are helping

You cannot move at all apart from your limbs. The blood is rushing to your brain.

It's like you're trapped in jelly. You can't go up, you can't go down.

Humming is closing in.

The whispers, hisses, "Ssssa kaa tuu, si! Come back. Come, princessssss. You don't belong. Come back. Siiiiii..."

The drums, the drums. You hear them so clear.

They are not drums, they are your heartbeat. Irregular, speeding up, the rush, feel the rush.

You neither sink nor float.

You thrash about but you get nowhere. The jelly around you is mushed up but you go nowhere. The humming is louder. The whispers deafen, "Sssssso, princessssss. Come kingdom kind coooome come with meeeeee.", "Comeeeee...", "Come, come, come hereeee..."

Liquid is slowly forming around your face.

Liquid is slowly pooling into the spaces you made. You cannot breathe. You push the jelly away but more liquid flows in.
How much jelly will it take to drown yourself? Now you cannot see. It is all dark and feathery cold touches brush you by. Ssssaaaa...loveeeelyyyy...
You call out but bubbles churn out. 'Green...gurgh...'
The humming is too loud the drumming, the whispers!
"Sssaaa, kuuu...pretty lady won't you playyyyy with meeeee?"

They say that hearing is the last to go.
The humming rises to a crescendo.

I'm wasting my life
Hurting inside
I don't really know
And I'm not really sure

2011-04-04T12:09:00.003+08:00

2011-03-28T22:08:00.001+08:00

Sunday, Mar 27th, 2011 -- Venus, the love planet, enters your sign and your 1st House of Personality today, gracing you with an extra dose of charm. Don't accept less for yourself now; make the extra effort to look good so you feel good, too. Nevertheless, don't be frivolous with your energy; spending time with friends is healing for your soul as long as you don't overdo the fun.
tarot.com

I'm sure hanging out with my friends is invigorating for my soul.

I am so damn sleepy now.

Feel the buzzzzz.

Take one for the team.

I don't understand. A few minutes ago I was sitting in the bathtub soaking myself and the next thing I know, a girl with black eyes, long black hair and pearly nails had perched herself beside me on the edge of the bathtub.

"Who are you?"

"Damn sure you know it. I look exactly like you. Fuck, I'm you."

"That's not possible. I don't swear."

"Hell yeah you do. 'Cos I'm the real you."

"That's not possible either. I'm sitting right here washing my hair. So you can't be me."

"Yeah I am. Well, whatever. I've just come to tell you that I'm Madder and to be careful. The world's not all as it seems."

"I'm sure it's not all as it seems. I mean, look, I'm sitting here talking to myself. That's downright crazy."

"No it's not. Everyone talks to themselves. Their real selves just don't come out like I do. You're going a bit barmy. You're not listening to yourself nowadays."

"But why are you called Madder? I'm sure my real self has a pretty name somewhere."

"Pretty smretty. The point of true names is that they reflect the true self. Just listen to you. You're getting madder and madder as you speak. What is your real name if not Madder?"

"I'm sure you're right."

"Now, what do you think of the world?"

"Pretty complicated, now that you mention it. I see the world upside-down sometimes. That's the real world yeah?"

"No! You're wrong. You're always wrong. Look, the world is not upside-down. It's inside-out!"

"How can it be? I'm sure we're meant to be living on the outside. If we're living inside we'd be dead right?"

"No! The point of living is to live at the core of it. And how can you be dead if you've never lived?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm not dead."

"I never said you were."

"Well."

"Look, it's not absolute. Not black or white, one or the other. There are perceptual differences. A hundred shades of white. Perceptual differences realises it. It makes them real."

"Makes what real?"

"Makes what real? You don't sound very bright. The things which we cannot see and therefore dismiss as non-existent. You don't know anything."

"Why do you make fun of me?"

"A true sense of humour is being able to make fun of yourself. Alright I have many things to do. I'm off."

"Can I come?"

"No! You wouldn't understand. Besides you've got other superficial things to do."

"Like finishing my bath?"

"I meant studying."

"It's called the pursuit of education."

"You don't really believe that crap do you? I'd know.
Hah, I'm off. Goodbye."

2010-08-11T16:36:00.000+08:00

wow i havent come here for so long even my cbox has died and faded into oblivion.

i swore i was gonna quit clubbing but i actually went on 2 consec nights. zomg

then i saw this same guy i saw the night before. zzz so conincidental?

*embarrassed

love me or leave me.

when did i start typing like this?

this is so ugly.

oh! i need to keep a dream journal. i shall keep one with castro.

my dreams are so terrible and traumatizing you wouldnt want to hear but all the same it'll make a wonderful horror story.

intriguing.

2010-07-09T22:20:00.000+08:00

Friday, Jul 9th, 2010 -- You probably aren't as easygoing as you were yesterday because quicksilver Mercury trines electric Uranus, shocking your nervous system with outlandish thoughts. Some of your current ideas may be truly brilliant but they cannot take form unless you choose to nurture them. Get your required tasks out of the way so you have sufficient time to develop your unconventional inspirations.
--tarot.com

HAHA! Oh yes yes yes! I have funny ideas. BUT. ^^

Anyway my lovely sis asked me out to Ikea yesterday. Then my mom pissy so she only let me out today. Actually she thought I was gonna do my school stuff but I went to Ikea anyway.

LOL.

I am going to buy
1. towels
2. candles
3. soft toys
4. bedspreads

when I have money.

I am currently very broke. *sad

Sis treated me chicken wings! *happy
Thanks sis! ^^
But our Ikea visit was so short. -.-

Swedish pronounciation of Ikea: Ee-kee-ah (Some Singaporeans, plus my parents)
Americans : Eye-kay-uh/ Eye-key-uh
US/UK/AUS (Mainly Europe) : Ee-kay-uh (Most of us say this. I think.)

GTG!

2010-07-08T14:32:00.000+08:00

Thursday, Jul 8th, 2010 -- You become disoriented now if you must focus your thinking on the mundane world, especially when you are happier to consider more spiritual pursuits. While there is nothing wrong with being a metaphysical guru, it's still important to keep up your appearances on the job. You'll be able to continue exploring parallel dimensions of reality today, as long as you don't attract any undue attention.
--tarot.com

Exploring parallel dimensions of reality.

I was really really affected by the guy(woman?) yesterday. I mean, throughout dinner and till I got home I kept wanting to cry. Okay its really pathetic to cry outside but I can't help being haunted (and traumatised, yes) by what he said to me.

I shall start from the beginning.

I needed to top up my card at the station, so I was waiting in line behind a old man. He kept trying to shove in his notes but the machine kept rejecting them. I was kinda dreaming away behind him till I realised the queue forming behind me.

Then I offered to help him and then it was okay. He went off with a 'thanks' and 'I'm going to Buona Vista'.

So after getting on the train, I realised he was in the same cabin so I was contemplating for awhile if I should go up to him and tell him to change at Jurong East instead of Raffles Place, since it was faster.

I stared at the route map for couple of mins and decided it would be mean if I ignored him and let him take the much-longer route. So at the risk of looking weird, I got up and walked to him and tried explaining to him why he should take the other direction.

Which failed, cos he said it didn't matter how long it took cos he had no where to go.

So I was quite embarrassed and I left and walked to another cabin and sat down.

Then after a couple of stops he followed and came up to ask if he could sit beside me.
And he kept saying that I was a nice, kind person and that God would bless me.

Okay I suppose any decent minded person would have done it anyway.

Then he asked if he could talk to me. Okay, sure, why not?

"Are you from Mediacorp?"

"Uh, no, uncle no. I'm studying." (Or soon anyway -.-)

He asked me to guess what he was.

"You mean what you work as?

*he shakes his head

What you do?

*he shakes his head

Who you are?" (I mean if he asked if I was from Mediacorp maybe he was working there, or used to.)

"What I am. Something. Give you a clue. Man woman. Woman man."

"Matchmaker."

"No...I used to be a woman."

"Ohh..."

my god.

So he was tranny. Okay. But that's hardly a meet question. Or something to know at introductions.

He started telling me abt himself.

And the gist of it is the lives alone. He doesn't work, has no family because his parents cast him away when they knew she wanted to be a man. Nobody wants him because he is neither here nor there. Prostitutes shun him too. Even though he wanted to pay them a thousand. He drinks because he doesn't want to think of his life.

I told him to go get a job. And he says his doctor says he is not fit to work for 6 months.

And he kept saying he was alone.

He said he would've killed himself, but he believes in God and so cannot commit suicide.

I tried to assure him that God was there and looking after him, but even I was not convinced.
His God certainly isn't looking after him. Nor giving him any comfort or solace in anything.
God had plans, yadda yadaa, whatever man. tell me another one.

"I don't know, why me? It didn't do anything, I didn't ask for this, I didn't choose this! Why God made me like this I don't know."

Then he said I was kind, had a good attitude and was very beautiful. And I would find a good husband and have a beautiful family and be very happy.

Oh god I can't continue.

Okay.

I can't help everyone in the world.

God bless him.

2010-07-06T00:44:00.003+08:00

For now, simply showing up and being real is sufficient to keep your day on track.
--tarot.com

Well sorry guy if I'm always MIA nowadays. It might seem like I'm in some trouble/depressed/avoiding people, or all of the above, but I seriously need time to myself.

The much talked-about, much revered alone time.

I'm tired of people thinking they know me. All the funny assumptions that is never a league near the truth. The closest someone can claim to know me and how I feel is Pamela.

"I mean...I can't believe it! It's like she's such a...biatch."
"Biatch. Yea I know."

Lol.

I'm not depressed. Even if I were, I don't need to withstand another interrogation about whether or not I was depressed.

Don't assume I'm sad.
Even if I were, does it matter? Hearing myself admit I'm sad is just plain sad, if you ask me. And the only thing it achieves is make me sadder because I am sad.

And fyi, I am not sad.

^^

Dinner out just now was awesome! But the furniture shopping was lol. XD
Zj is crazy. Trying to buy furniture in town. HAHAHA

Why hasn't my Fyrinnae primer come?
I am positively depressed.

On a side note, my hair is BLACK now! yayy

Pamela totally missed it even though I was smsing her whole day bout it.

And Edmund Btss Chua kept saying I look like cheena! -.- I hate you.

Lol.

Where got cheena, huh, huh?
I dyed my hair to match my eyes! ^^

Sorry ah I don't have anyone else's photos cos of Pamela's imba DSLR.

I REGRET NOT GETTING THE BLUE ONE!!!
*cries

Now I Iike the color.

2010-07-04T01:51:00.000+08:00

I feel so bullied when I'm at home!
After doing so much nonsense I went into my dad's room and he said I have to help my mum do the housework. *shoots me dirty look

I WASHED THE CAR TOO.

*Bestows maid-of-the-day on myself

On a random note.

I look like an elf! HAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHHA ok unlike Pamela I shall have to ask for lesser people to read my blog if I'm gonna post weird photos.

Lol!

I am so amused.

2010-07-03T13:21:00.000+08:00

For the Week of Jun 28th, 2010 -- A sweet Pisces Moon Friday invites imagination and tenderness. The mood shifts on Saturday when Luna zips into adventurous Aries where the taste for new experiences provokes impulsive behavior that's exciting but, perhaps, a little reckless. There's nothing wrong with taking chances, but don't go so far astray you can't find your way back.
--tarot.com

Can I find my way back? Do I want to?
Maybe its time to move on and let go, instead of standing still.

Fyrinnae - Shipment Info

Order Shipped #100630-090640-8354
Your order placed on Jun 30 2010, 09:06 AM has been shipped. If you're in the U.S., you'll find the delivery confirmation link in this email.

*Laughs wildly.

I love Fyrinnae! They have samples for you to choose from. That time I ordered the Velvet Silica Gel Primer, Velvet Gel Primer for Dry Skin and Pixie Epoxy. The last two I gave Pam. Then they had a free sample too! Delvian. Which is very much like the color of the (see above) Fyrinnae- Shipment Info thing that color.

Very very pretty, except that the consistency is a bit weird. (Pam, like your anna sui one!)
I sticks mostly on the applicator, aka Your Finger. Or any other eyeshadow applicator you use.

Then you use it wet, but mostly on your finger as well.
But Fyrinnae's website says you gotta pat it on.
Which means yes, you get the color, but you have to have superb skills patting even amounts on even parts of the lid.
TIRING TTM.

Let's just go back to my gold Faceshop-Birthday-Present eyeshadow. Much much more awesome.

But I love the Velvet Gel Silica Primer! It smells a bit funny. But I don't have problem applying it, nor does it give me a whitish cast as so many reviewers said they had. I guess cos my face is alr super pale.

But I can apply makeup so much easier with it! It just goes on super smooth. And very easy to blend.
It contains 50-60% micro silica spheres so its supposed to smooth out the face, less lines. pores etc.
For me it didn't really seem to help in oil control or minimizing pores or whatever. But I love it just cos it helps me apply makeup so much easier.

So I ordered another Velvet Gel Silica Primer and its coming!!
:D
Their packaging is super cute too! I shall take pictures of them when they arrive.

^^

2010-07-01T12:07:00.000+08:00

MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND.

Someone please update the old adage. (:

Sugar is here now!!!!!!!!!!! :D:D:D

Falling asleep on the couch...(again) LOL

I need a new wallet! Who wants to accompany me to get one?
I haven't got a proper wallet since my Italian baby got stolen.
STOLEN.
How can someone commit such an atrocious act, I ask you?
Money is one thing, memories another.

So...

I lost my train of thought after the damned door slammed shut. And Sugar is still happily sleeping!
Lol

Reminds me of that time during As she came over to study. I was telling her the sun always makes me sleepy. Then she had a 'Really?' face as if she never heard of sth so ridiculous.

10secs later guess who's knocked out on my couch. Lol!

Okay I feel slightly weird blogging about her while she's beside me. Unconscious, no less, but still beside me. Lol

Anyway its going to rain soon, and we all know. Nothing beats sleeping in rainy weather.

Okay for me, rain or shine la. I don't care.

Have flat surface, will sleep.

^^

I now know this: Happiness is a state of mind. Nothing else.

I feel like I'm in the future and nothing I do ever matters or affects me in a tangible way anyhow. It's like my real self is still somewhere behind in the real world, trying to catch up. So no matter what I do or see now it doesn't matter. Because only what happens to the real me matters. I don't suppose my real self is gonna catch up anytime soon, nor will it ever. So why not enjoy the inhibitions and ecstasy bestowed from the thought of being two separate entities and live in the now?

Live in the present , remember the past, and fear not the future, for it doesn't exist and never shall. There is only now.

2010-06-28T15:13:00.000+08:00

QUEEN FINALLY TURNS 19!
Okay she has like freaking lots of rabbit stuff hanging ard.
After playing and taking photos of her Rabbit, which me and Pam named 'Party Rabbit', I saw another rabbit hanging at her closet door.

*Intending to kajiao her for being faggoty
"EHH! Someone like rabbit a lot ah!!" *sniggers and shakes the rabbit

Then she starts advancing on me and grabbing me.
"Yeaaa I LIKE RABBITS A LOT!!!"

LOL i totally forgot I was wearing my bunny ears!
Which made the rest of them laugh like mad when she started pawing and grabbing me.

HAHAHAH HAPPY 19TH ASS!
may you grow up soon! and have less banglas chasing you. XD

2010-06-28T15:02:00.002+08:00

6A'03!! Omg I love all of them.
We went out for supper. It was a super random thing organised just the afternoon when I was msging NK.
He very nicely took us out in his car and we decided to go to Bugis to eat cos he needed to drop his bro off.

They are so alike, seriously.
We went to eat tauhuay! It was very nice!
Then we gossiped like mad and bullied NK. This is what happens with one guy three girls la. Lol

Then he threatened to run away with his car and leave us there if we bullied him too much. XD

Hahaha but I think NK is so awesome la.
He dropped me off at my hse but after I went upstairs to change he called and asked me down again. LOL we were going to HD's hse to talk!

-.- Then we exchanged latest gossips and updates on our life. Pity the army guys couldn't come out or we'd have the whole bunch. Louis, Fifi, Jeff, etc.

Jeff said I got fatter!
He is going to get his neck wrung when I meet him.
LR was like, "How can he say that!"
LOL

Pri sch friends. -.- I've known them for like freaking long la. Since p5.

Then I realise my oldest friend must be Edmund. We went to pri 1 tgt, our mothers were friends, we talked, gossiped, studied, slacked, played tgt.

Childhood friends ftw!

Went club with Eric and gang and I didn't know Eric liked vodka sprite so much!!

I DON'T LIKE REBEL. Sorry Eric. XD

Halfway through Sugar was like, "You're the only one high."
LOL yea I was jumping ard the most.
I stepped on some irritating guy twice. 4.5inch heels.
I'm so sorry.
Not.

:D

I hope the pri sch peeps can meet up soon! Hahaha the whole bunch of us meets up every year on Midautumm Festival. Yeap, not new year, not Xmas, not halloween. MidAutumm Festival. Then we play candles and talk and eat.

Hahahaha we're a funny bunch. I still rmb how NK and Louis sometimes come visit me.
Then they'll call me. 'Eh, where's your house, we're somewhere here.'
"Huh? I'm at my front door, I see no one."
*looks to opposite block and sees the two blurblobs.
LOL
*waves to them.

Win alr la. Always come still cannot recognise. XD Super cute!
They ALWAYS point out 826 w/o fail. ZZZ

I know LR lives at 800, but I dunno how to go. I dunno HD's block but I know where it is. XD
Then Jeff is furtherest. Him and Bra live in the 700+. Lol

Freaking hot. The day is freaking hot.

2010-06-28T14:41:00.000+08:00

For the Week of Jun 28th, 2010 -- The Moon in your sign on Thursday and Friday tunes you into your feelings. They can flow from the mountaintops of high hopes to the lowest depths of the ocean, so think twice before acting on your emotions too quickly. Using your imagination will increase your allure and a creative person makes an ideal partner to engage in the romantic fantasies you seek.

미친!

Stop asking me if I'm happy/satisfied.

With?

Go define happy. Define satisfaction. What does it mean to be happy? Who says happy is happy?

Then is satisfaction also acceptance?

If not, why?

If yes, then there wouldn't be the word 'satisfaction', but just acceptance, right? So satisfaction wouldn't exist and vice versa.

If there's no satisfaction, what's the point of life then? Plain acceptance? Of?

And the hardest part of living
Is just taking breaths to stay

Yea I'm having fun.

I don't know. I don't like people to think I'm unhappy. And I hate it even more if they assume I'm happy.

2010-06-19T15:02:00.000+08:00

Taurus
Saturday, Jun 19th, 2010 -- Fantasies about new ways to make money fill your head with useless schemes today. Instead of executing a sound business plan, you may be entranced by all your clever ideas. Nevertheless, you can exert more control over your future once you realize that practicing self-discipline makes all the difference in the world. Instead of letting your dreams run wild, make a choice and concentrate on achieving one worthwhile goal.

Cancer
Saturday, Jun 19th, 2010 -- Grandiose thinking about a home improvement project is not a smart idea now, so be ready to scale back your plan on a moment's notice. It isn't worth exhausting yourself by waging a war you cannot win. But you shouldn't surrender your dream either. Instead, seek a middle path without sacrificing your ideals. Balance may be elusive, but dogged persistence should move you in the right direction.

Scorpio
Saturday, Jun 19th, 2010 -- Although you have a lot to say now, you might not want to be seen or heard as the Moon enters your 12th House of Privacy. It's more natural for you to face an intense emotional or spiritual crisis on your own because you aren't sure that anyone else would truly understand what you're going through. Regardless of your perspective, change is inevitable, so don't resist the current process of transformation, even if it hurts.

Sagittarius
Saturday, Jun 19th, 2010 -- Although you may appear open to feedback from your peers, your convictions are stronger than they seem now. You are focused on your long-term plans, even if others are telling you to pay more attention to what's happening today. Nevertheless, you may think that your friends are just making matters worse by distracting you with their opinions. Fortunately, you have the tools to keep yourself on track, and it's up to you to use them.

Virgo
Saturday, Jun 19th, 2010 -- The scattered Gemini Sun continues to pull you in too many directions. Today, your anxiety level rises because you are overwhelmed by so many things to do that you must eliminate some of them. Perhaps your life has become more complex gradually, but now you must do something about it. Although change won't come easily, you can do almost anything once you set your mind to it.

--tarot.com

2010-06-19T14:32:00.000+08:00

Saturday, Jun 19th, 2010 -- You feel emotionally stretched today and something in a relationship may have to give. You don't mind constructive criticism from a friend or partner, yet it might seem as if positive feedback is hard to find. If you are being pushed too hard, set firm boundaries. Clearly let others know that more pressure will only increase your resistance. Tell them to back off and give you room to change at your own pace.
--tarot.com

I know this makes me seem like a materialistic and capricious person, but the small shopping spree yesterday with my kids (my siblings) cheered me up a lot yesterday.

I got a hair curler (Pamela I finally got one! YAYY), a heart-shaped bookmark for my reading (my sis got it for me), floss and plasters.
I think I am probably the only person who can be so fascinated in a Watson store.

The bill came up to 42++, and got reduced to 32++ after I became a member. Which is pretty cool cos my hair curler was a lot cheaper, in addition to the other items.
The membership was 5bucks, which I kind of got out of curiosity.

My sis: Yea, I think you just get it. (Bet she's probably thinking I can get her more of those disney plasters)
Me: Yea...I wanna know how the card looks like. Think its green. Cool huh?
My sis: -.-

So...I have a Watson(s or no s?) card! Awesome.
I am going to buy my hair mask, showergel (tiny glitters! The Olay one whic HM had and I was obsessed about) and...more floss I guess.

You know my current obsession.
But they don't have the Sally Hansen thing I wanted. Disappointing. And they're makeup range is just Silkygirl and ZA. Both of which I hate. Zzz

I'm talking about my tiny Khatib branch of course, (But, ZJ, Khatib is still the most hip and happening place ever...)

Oh gosh my thought are so disjointed they just run all together and I have all these brackets.

Okay I'm just saying. So if you guys wanna get anything at Watson just get me too! Anyway I wanna get a new mascara too. Either Maybelline? Or Marjolica Marjora?

MM cos HM said its good right?

Actually I find my Fasio mascara the best.
I am gonna throw away my Sasa and Maybelline one soon.
The Sasa one I think is good in lengthening and basically extending your lashes 'sky-high' but probably works just as well as any dual-tipped mascaras, in which there's the primer and the mascara. Like pam's long ago L'oreal one which she loved. But its FLAKY. Like there's powdery black stuff raining down after awhile and your eyes get irritated and your face is specked black.

Maybelline's best products are the mascaras, cos of the soft wand and good easy-to-wash-off formulation. It doesn't smudge that much, doesn't flake and doesn't droop. It also doesn't hold curls very well, nor lengthens or volumizes very much. It's a...mascara that's functional, but doesn't have very specific 'goods'.

Fasio holds curls super, have the best waterproof mascara and doesn't clump. It doesn't really volumizes a lot though, but then it gives you fuller, more natural looking lashes. A bit hard to remove though, but then again, its an awesome waterproof.

Okay now I feel like I'm giving a mascara review.

Lol. Oh but the Bodyshop one is good too, I hear. Pam has one which works really well (I assume) cos I really like when she uses it. And MH has it too, though she only used it first time with me. Haha
If I'm right, it doesn't dry very fast.
I assume.

Oh how I love this phrase. And how people use it all the time. All the presumptuous silly little pricks with swelling egos. Also closely linked with the groups of people we have a...thinly-veiled derision for. Hah.
Blast you and your foul schools full of inflated heads.

When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.

I don't know why I'm so on the edge and barbed and irritated, but if you do a hop over to Alice's blog, you will also see how I feel. Except that I do not have the talent nor forthright-ness she has in expressing how she feels, rather I'm dithering on like an idiot.

So excuse me.

I am going to order from Fyrinnae again! I don't think I'm gonna ask around anymore. Firstly cos I'm tired, secondly cos I'm tired and thirdly cos I'm freaking tired.

Sorry if I don't reply messages nowadays. I find my phone too ugly to linger on any longer and the typing to be weary. Pls send me fb msgs instead. (Pam alr does that LOL)

My ugly phone! I have a mind to take back my old pink one.

Design triumphs!

Watching the Devil Wears Prada again, I was like slightly annoyed by how they classify people according to brands.
"Is that Chanel?" *mouth hangs open
Well who gives a damn.
Okay she was dowdy to begin with, but its not like you can't find style from other lower-end brands.
Don't be bound by fashion, people!
They were created and are still being created by people.
Fashion rules, but we rule fashion!
Designers express how they feel, we express how we feel.
Fashion is an expression.

Oh well, this is reminding me of my A's GP essay on fashion. *winces
But oh, however we choose to express ourselves, form and fit please.
Unflattering silhouettes just makes you ugly already, no one will look at your fashion. Except maybe gawp at the seamless way you managed to un-flatter your bodyline. Then perhaps they will think you're going for shock-value instead.

Again, I'm just ranting.

GOSH!

I am evil.

But then as you probably should alr have realised,

2010-06-15T13:38:00.003+08:00

For the Week of Jun 21st, 2010 -- Group activities can become very complicated this weekend with a Lunar Eclipse in your 11th House of Friends and Organizations. Be careful about allowing a powerful person to manipulate you or joining pals in potentially dangerous behavior. Sticking to your principles is a way to assert your power, earn you some respect and keep you out of trouble.

--tarot.com

Let's all pay homage to

Good music

Beauty

Good food

Good friends

Good fun

Good bitching

Good foooooood

Good monkeys ^^ tupper!

Best workmates

Best classes.

True camwhores. (see how nicely everyone is spaced out lol)

Best company

Crazy friends

Best choristers

Childhood friends

Best buddy

The diva in all of us

Best times

Best stayover & sleeping partner

Best siblings. And stoning.

Great food and wine

Killer heels that dominate

Best choristers we once were and always will be

The vows we made

The love we share

The ones who care.

People we love.

Best friends.

Friends who complete us.

Cheers!

The juniors at Bratislava! Festa Choralis. 100 marks!

^^

!!!!!!!

2010-06-13T00:58:00.000+08:00

For the Week of Jun 14th, 2010 -- The Moon passes through your 7th House of Meeting and your 8th House of Merging this weekend. Relationship issues are bound to command your attention, yet trying too hard to please a difficult partner is not recommended. Someone has to commit to meet you at least halfway to merit the time and effort you're ready to invest.
--tarot.com

Okay, can't resist another post.

I am going to dye my hair black! To match my contacts. I am wacky, I know.

I love my brother! He says the cutest stuff. And he talks in a snappy, kinda way, with a cartoon character accent. Considering the tv in on at least 12 hours a day since he was born, I'm not surprised.

my bro loves to take unglam pics/sneakshots of me. we used to chase each other ard doing nonsense like that. that and insulting each other. he has the most inventive vocab, I tell you. I usually lose cos I'm rolling ard in laughter.

he says i look like my sis

pamela! They look blue! *horrified

2010-06-12T23:49:00.001+08:00

Friday, Jun 11th, 2010 -- It's difficult for you to express what you're thinking now, without catalyzing someone else's swift reaction. You might try to employ avoidance tactics because you really don't want to be slowed down by this level of emotional dissonance. But sidestepping the underlying problem is probably what landed you here in the first place. Deal with whatever comes up, so you won't need to handle it later on.

11June2010

Yes, this is all in S'pore, believe it or not.

Looking like a ghost is very healthy. Now I know why sunglasses were invented.

Using my phone's lousy front cam.

My bro saw me doing this and suggested...

This! Mustache shot. ^^

His expression? Priceless.

Look at him!! Chipmunk!

I'm in Miami, bitch.

10June2010
Sugar came to stayover ytd then Eric and her got me Ben & Jerry's!!!

Sugar was wandering ard and asking for 7/11 or Ntuc after we watched movie (Killers!) and basically acting so suspicious that I thought she wanted to buy alcohol or sth.

She just kept repeating "I need to buy something!"

And her something turned out to be...

This!

Thanks Sugar and Eric for getting me this! :D I am not depressed alr.
Or at least, significantly better.
We must totally do this again!! Muahahahha <3

And the darling ZJ always brings me out to eat and he really really cheers me up! He's like super blur in some things and I'm super blur in others so we make an awesome pair.
I have a million movie stubs alr, from all the movies he brings me to. And Sugar was saying that if we traded in all our ticket stubs, we would get thousands.

Movie moguls earn all the big bucks, man.

Today, 12June2010

I'm sorry this is so crazy and the timeline thing is all screwed up. But Pamela's japanese themed dinner at her house was A-W-E-S-O-M-E.
Oishiiiiii!!!!!
Everyone ate till damn full and there was still ice cream!! Muahahha. <3
Thankyou Pam for organising and cooking!! Didn't know someone had a domestic streak lolol.
Seeing everyone together again was super.
There was Liz, Ms Neo, Queen, Yee, ZK, Meinu, Veron, Nelmy and of course, the host!
And everyone started camping ard in her room after the Topless Five (minus me and Pam) left.
And Nelmy started playing gay songs.

Photos with ZK!
His lousy cam lol.

Yesterday!!
Pam asked to meet me at the mrt station then I was at the CC registering some stuff with my bro so when she called I had to run there. LOL. raced my bro to the station and she gave me this!

Not one.

Not 2.

But a bunch of stuff!! Thankyou lovely!!
Nothing cheers me up more than flowers!!
^^
YAYYYYY.
Hap-hap-hap-hap-happy day!

2010-06-08T09:23:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry.

This wouldn't have happened if not for me.
It's unfair that you've to go through all that, and the worst thing is you don't even blame me.
I feel like a retard.
I feel like I'm supposed to look after you but I screwed up and made everything worse for you.
I'm sorry I ever appeared in your life.
You said I was too good.
But good is not all that.
There are so many definitions of good and I'm not any of those.
It just breaks my heart to see you like that.
Everything just breaks my heart.

I'm sorry.

2010-06-05T16:40:00.000+08:00

2010-06-05T14:11:00.000+08:00

Saturday, Jun 5th, 2010 -- It may feel as if this is your last chance to take care of several items on your to-do list. Fortunately, the winds of fate are blowing your way now as the Moon moves toward a conjunction with your ancient ruling planet Jupiter. Your optimism is uncontainable, but it's still wise to make sure that you are also being practical.
--tarot.com

It is my last chance!!! *freaks

oaky ltes see...I'm srue all of you can sitl raed tihs rghit? Azamnig, our biarns. So I msut mkae flul use of it naoooo...

Okay that was uncalled for. :D

I watched Sex and the City 2 with Zj ytd and was totally carrie-d away by the heels!!!!
Tell me, would you wear heels in your house like 24/7???
Now that I see it's possible, I am so going to do that when I have a house of my own. PLUS I shall get a gigantic flat screen. Only for my sitting room.

Eh heh heh.

My sister just came online. *.*

Okay. I totally annoyed her this morn by going, "Hey apple. Hey apple. Hey apple. What's up, apple?"
(Her screen name is apple)

Lol. Liz! I shall never forgive you for making me watch that annoying orange thing. Totally retarded. And Yz and Sugar ~~surprised~~ shocked me when they did the whole "What's up, banana?" thing together. LOL I think Pam hasn't seen it. Or she won't be able to sleep.

Mortifying news: My white heels' ribbons came off!!!!!! One came off as I pulled the heels outta the box to try. Then I uh...tested the other ribbon. And sort of...yanked it off too.

:X Help. I have never felt more hopeless in my life. Faced with nowhere to go. No one to turn to, and ribbon-less heels. AND I DON'T HAVE SUPERGLUE.

How am I gonna piece my life together again?

Without superglue?

I'll be there as soon as I can.
But I'm busy mending broken
pieces of
my life I had before.

--Muse, Unintended

2010-06-03T19:56:00.000+08:00

I am currently in a mid-teen crisis.
18 was a wonderful (albeit not so wonderful, where I spent it) age. 20 is a blasted responsible age.
19 is just...19.
I am...
Doing things I don't like.
Buying things I don't need.
Eating food I usually wouldn't eat.
Drinking soft drinks.
Developing eye bags.
Gaining weight I don't need.
Rude to people who don't deserve it.
Nice to people who don't deserve it.
Sleeping with my heels cos I'm lonely.
Being happy when I'm not.
Living a life I don't want.

OK. That was better.
I am not depressed.
I just have random panic attacks and moments of...contemplative______.
See?!
I can't find the right words to fit into sentences!!!!!!

I have lost it.

I am so thankful Liz and Mh the dears came over to stay.
And Zj who is totally on a quest to make me fat the way he makes food/brings me out to eat. He is soooo sweet! And so are the awesome french toasts. ^.^

And had a crazy night out with the girls ytd! :D I shall blog abt it later.
When I feel like all the karmic disruptions in my life has stopped, or at least stabilized.
I was almost drunk ytd.
But so were everyone else. Lol

I am soo glad for _________.

Something.

Urgh. I hate my life.

I'm totally losing it.

2010-05-31T14:19:00.000+08:00

For the Week of May 31st, 2010 -- The Moon in your sensitive sign this weekend can flood you with feelings. If you look backwards, you can become lost in sentiment or despair. Take your emotions and paint beautiful pictures in the present by expressing dreams and hopes, no matter how farfetched they seem. It's your ability to imagine a great romance that pulls someone special in to share it with you.
--tarot.com

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to go," said the Cat.

"I don't much care where--," said Alice.

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.

"--so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.

"Oh you're sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

--Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

2010-05-30T01:16:00.000+08:00

When life throws you oranges, make screwdrivers and get pissed.
Then everything blurs into a neon kaleidescope and looks just about fine.
If not a little rosy.

2010-05-28T21:38:00.001+08:00

Since Zj said that my blog is devoid of photos here it is!!

One of my first pair of heels! Jeans material Charles and Keith kitten heels. 3inch. :D

Also from Charles and Keith. 3.5inch.

Some random one worn only once. i don't like wedges! 2.5inch.

Guess, 3.5inch.

Something every girl must have. Black pumps! Mondo, 3.5inch.

Clubbing shoes! I planned on getting a short-heeled pair for dancing, but as usual, temptation won and this is 4.5inch.

Rather scruffy ex-prom pair. It was like bought from some obscure place in paya lebar while Tracy, Fiona, Zhiwei and Dawn did hair extensions. :D 4.5inch.

My awesome(ly painful) Stevie! Steven by Steve Madden. AJ prom pair. Worn twice. 5inch.

Yellow, worn once. Very pretty! Bought on impulse with Sugar. Aldo, 5.5inch.

Sexy legs! ^.^ Not mine! Liz's. Note how the people who always cover up (ahem yeeching) look so hot.

Anyway I made her wear the heels and voila! :D

I still have like a couple of pairs somewhere but heck la. Like my red 'alumni choir' one. If they are not missed, they are not important.

2010-05-26T15:14:00.000+08:00

Okay I am in such a freaking fix.

I am going to go for a run at 4.

If I can get out of my house I'll be fine.

I am so distracted that I ate 2 tomatoes before I realised I forgot to wash them all.

I am going to buy that bracelet!

Palpitations.

I want a pair of heels.

My brother's Nerf gun is so interesting. those toy guns are getting more dangerous all the time.

I swear I almost had my eye out with that one.

Stop stop stop.

Fri meet P.

Sat meet PFF/Shamini.

Sun meeting TUS.

Mon meet ZJ.

Tues shop?

Wed club+stayover.

Thur sleep?

Fri...

shop?

2010-05-26T12:34:00.000+08:00

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010 -- There are many things going on today that could force you to alter your plans. You aren't usually this set in your ways, but now your schedule might be so tight that it's not easy for you to make the changes required to stay on track. Nevertheless, it's your flexibility that can turn a difficult situation into one that's successful for everyone involved.
-tarot.com

Yea I cannot fit everyone in! I keep having to meet someone or the other, because I simply haven't seen the person in so long! And I can't make time for everyone and myself because I can only eat so many meals and I have only so many hours in one day.

But I can't not see my friends. I miss everyone so much!

I kinda know how it feels like to be hyperventilating. Or perhaps, constantly hyperventilating. I feel I have to attach a paper bag to my face 24/7 or I'll die from lack of air.

Panic attack.

ZJ says I shouldn't worry so much but I can't help it!

I can't sleep at night and when I do I get nightmares. Only when people (sometimes even my sister) comes to stayover can I sleep properly. And its only after a whole night of staring glued to chick flicks and then falling asleep from sheer exhaustion.

P says I must be depressed.
"When I get out, I checked your blog. I was like, die la! So many posts. You must be being crazy now. Like I said, no post is good news."

Oh but shopping at Haji Lane with Topless Five was awesommeeeee.
Pam is totally gonna get me there again.
*thinks of my money. Lol

Oh but I was in pink heaven yesterday. Packed my wardrobe twice, first deciding to hang the dresses together, then settling on putting the favorites in the middle.
Then I happily slept with Piglet, ElastiPig, Candybone and my pink bag. And I have Superman covers now! (they glow on the dark!!! I'm not kidding. Liz and I had great fun flicking the light switch on and off watching the glowy "S" Lol

I hate waking up.
Today, I looked at the picture hanging in my room and got a shock. It looked totally different from what I was used to seeing and all the usual dimensions blurred and moulded together. I saw things I never saw before and had a distinct impression of a white light in a human shape sitting at a table in my picture's garden, while the house looked ridiculously small behind him.

-.- Just about swell time to start imagining things. As bad as the time I saw a person in the window and asked my dad who the person was.

Estudiar espanol?

Oh I should be happy to say I have finally found a use for my reaction kinetics tutorials!
You know what everyone always says.
"Just keep your tutorials! You will have a use for them."
Yeap!
I used them to curl my hair.
I rip them into long strips, grab a lank of hair and start rolling it up.
Then I tie the ends togther and voila!
Instant hair curler.

I might just get rid of the whole lot yet.

I'm definitely regressing.

Yizhen has thrown out her bed in a room cleaning frenzy, so I shall start cutting up my shirts to make my wardrobe more edgy.

I realise there is absolutely nothing I can do with the aj pe shirts apart from wearing them. (heaven forbid)
My intention of using them as rags for house cleaning failed as the dry fit material can absorb as much water as I can absorb math formulas. So obviously a no go.

I could give them to a charity or sth, but I wouldn't want to be responsible for saddling poor kids with such an offensive piece. Oh its not the color or even the cut. Its the indignity of simply being there that gives a shirt so much of an unholy burden.

Oh and Zj asked me what's the difference between protective and possessive.

Protective- tending to protect
Possessive-Having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person's relationships with others

Seriously I can just pick two people and they'd be perfect examples.

I realise the cup I got for my last birthday is pink and purple!
Life is good.

We're gonna be 20 in like half a year!!!!!
Can you imagine?
"Hi, I'm ____ . I'm 20."

Omg, think.
The sheer responsibility.

Not.

2010-05-20T14:44:00.000+08:00

Ng,
You need some time alone with a good book, or to study in some new interest you have taken on, but people in your life just don't seem to get that you are actually doing something. You may have to drive away from home in order to find a quiet space.
-fb

Thursday, May 20th, 2010 -- Your feelings are up one minute and down the next today as alternating currents of excitement and worry distract you from what you ought to be doing. You know you should be concentrating on the details at work, but you may be too inspired about the big picture to pay attention to things that seem trivial. Remember, you do have the capability to control your thoughts, and focusing on the fine points can make the difference between a mediocre performance and true success.
-tarot.com

Oh no oh no it's exactly what I'm feeling now. Alternating between excitement and worry.
DAMN.
I wanna go out with Pam soon!!!!!!
I need some assurance.
Or scolding, whatever la, my brains are pretty much very fried right now.

I have a new mission! I am going to read books until my eyes turn square and my brains fall out.
And I am determined to master Spanish since I know Lis (Alice- I can't seem to call her that anymore, Lis sounds very nice, or maybe I'm just lazy) is learning it too.

I am going to paint my room!!!
Perhaps I'm gonna paint it calming green.
Which again shows how crazy I am because there's no such thing as calming green is there?

2 times in a day I have people calling me Ice Queen. Nothing wrong with being an ice queen. It's cool and all.

Because my tv has no dvd player since the last one was thrown away due to it being a retarded laggy thing and my computer is also a retarded laggy thing, I have decided to take my dvds (or Neighbour's actually, sorry YH I have been keeping them far to long, haven't seen him in a while) to my dad's car and kip there and watch them.

See how sad I am. I'll be the first person spending a night in a car watching dvds. Whoohoo!
Perhaps I'll bring ElastiPig down and use him to decor my seat. I wonder what happened to my strawberry seatbelt cover in the last car.

Oh yea, my dad got a new car.

I hate new car smells. I rmb how when the last car was new, I spent the whole time with my head in a bag of crackers because I couldn't stand the leather smell.
Then I ended up being carsick (I'm never never carsick, even when I'm sitting back to front or in a boot or whatever) from sitting at crash position with my head in a bag. Lol

Oh yea a taxi driver recently gave me a life analysis/ fortune telling based on my birthdate. 6 March.
"You will be happy and successful if you find what you like to do. You will never ever be fired- there is no need to. If you love the job, you're invaluable. If you hate your job, before your boss can realise it, you're already out.
You're lazy when you have to do things that bore you or that are a chore.
But when you get obsessed with something, you keep at it until you reach where you want to be, in your case, the best.
You trust people easily, and don't lose faith in them until they seriously prove otherwise.
You have an idealistic view of the world, but it doesn't serve you well in reality because you are always disappointed.
You give a lot and have many friends, and you sincerely care for all of them.
You tend to pretend to be happy.
You sometimes laugh at things people say but your mind is thinking of something else.
Your mind is always thinking of something else."

Yeap, my trip from my house to Zouk was spent listening to his impression of me. But I must say, damn, his analysis is good. Did he seriously get all that from a birth date?
He claims he knows all the dates and months.
O:

Cool.

2010-05-19T15:21:00.000+08:00

Disturbing dreams...

I know many people have asked me what scary dreams I've had (since I always have nightmares).
I know the word nightmare sounds like a dank dark dream in which a person is always running away from a monster.
That used to be the case.
Now nightmare has taken on a morbid creepier meaning.

It used to be chasing something precious that was taken away from you, or running away from something horrible chasing you.
Dreams are an interpretation of our lives and thoughts.
Now the dreams are filled with riddles,questions, answers and meanings that spill over from mere dreams to reality.

Things that are obscure and vague become painfully clear in dreams. You see things clearest, and you find an answer when you dream. Its like travelling to a Land of Truth, but discovering that you had it with you all the time.
You knew what was going on, you just wouldn't admit it before.

Dreams put us in touch with our unconscious, the deepest level of our existence.
Perhaps its the closest one can get to the Cro-Magnon days. Where humans could interact and control the energy in our minds.

With us using only less than a tenth of our brainpower, who knows what we can accomplish with the utility of our whole brain?
Is the unconscious another dimension, then? A dimension parallel to all other dimensions in which we are unable to go to because we have limited powers?
Or is it simply an alternative one?
Like there would be dark without light, concurrently, there would be un-consciousness in a lack of consciousness.

So does it mean that everything is concrete in reality whereas what is in dreams only imagined?
Are there consequences of your actions from dreams?
Or no matter what you do, it can never every touch you in this realm called reality?

That is only partially true.
My happy dreams have always ended before I could fulfil them, in the case of my extravagant shopping spree in Korea where I got everybody something. But unfortunately, I woke up before I could pay for them, so sadly, I don't have an inch of anything for my pains trawling the aisles of the supermall the whole night.

But interestingly, I have been ocassionally haunted by spectres of my dreams which I have stupidly offended. (Like the time I kicked a skull in my dream)
Of course some might explain it as a secret torment to oneself using psychic abilities unknown even to the perpetrator himself. The deliberate withdrawal of tangible satisfaction to the (almost) tangible manifestation of a phantasm to haunt in reality.

Perhaps one shouldn't be too satisfied in life.
It does one ill.

2010-05-19T00:10:00.001+08:00

"I love sleep. My life has a tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?"
Ernest Hemmingway

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010 -- You may be a bit discouraged today and your low energy has you believing that you're not up for the tasks that are demanded of you. But this isn't about whether or not you are capable of doing your work. It's more about your unflagging idealism and the challenges you face when reality doesn't match up to your high expectations. You should feel more confident in a day or two so don't undertake risky behavior just to prove that you're okay.
-tarot.com

Just the other day I was telling J I had never written a poem again after I graduated.
I can only write when I'm depressed, for without the emotional imbalance and polar mood swings, I would never have been able to write well.
Which is why I'm scared I'll never write again, for I'm certainly quite happy.

Of course its such a stupid thing to think.
What is (almost) everybody's pursuit? The quest for happiness!
There will never be perfect happiness as long as we live and the grass seems greener the other side.

But then again, no matter what we do, there'll still be that bit of unhappiness. No matter what we do, it'll all be useless right?
People die, trees die, animals die, things die. What difference does it make what we do?

But I suppose existentialism isn't an excuse to stop working.
Nor an excuse to stop living.

Why is my makeup taking so long to come?
I'm positively depressed.

2010-05-16T17:28:00.003+08:00

For the Week of May 17th, 2010 -- You're heading in the right direction for love this week. Magnetic Venus dances into your 5th House of Romance on Wednesday and the Moon moves into your 7th House of Partnerships on Thursday. This is a powerful combination of attractors that should spice up a current partnership, help you to find someone new or simply support your desire to have a good time.
-tarot.com

Lol I realise my vid has been blocking my tagboard! Ahaha

Crazy weeks of clubbing, dancing, sleeping, shopping. ^.^ fun!

But I'm falling sick...

Cough, sore throat and headache.

But life is so so FUN.

"I gotta feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good night..."

Aiya dunno what to say.

2010-04-30T01:47:00.000+08:00

2010-04-29T18:12:00.000+08:00

Thursday, Apr 29th, 2010 -- You have a magical aura that wraps around you today, wherever you go. This energetic layer is powered by your imagination and it is only as strong as your current belief in yourself. Don't let logic or reality spoil your dreams. If you believe that anything is possible, then you won't be limited by restrictive rules or your own self-doubt.
-tarot.com

Taurus:
Thursday, Apr 29th, 2010 -- Your key planet Venus is adding to your woes today as she distracts you from what you should be doing. The love planet can be quite enticing as she draws your attention to something new each time you become too comfortable with what you already have. Luckily, you can shift gears by changing your goal from reaching immediate pleasure to concentrating on the distant horizon.

Cancer:
Thursday, Apr 29th, 2010 -- This can be a very satisfying day for you because you can express your feelings without seeming so needy that others want to retreat. In fact, your ability to love is currently based upon your need for freedom. It's one thing to ask for a bit of elbowroom now, but it still can be tricky to balance it with intimacy and security.

Sagittarius:
Thursday, Apr 29th, 2010 -- You are coming to the end of an intensely emotional period and it's a smart idea to tie up as many loose ends as you can. Soon you will start a new project, but you aren't out of the woods on the previous one yet. The Moon's entry into your sign tonight can remind you of the instability of your changing needs. Even if you are uncomfortable with basing a long-term decision on your fluctuating feelings, they are still more trustworthy now than your logical analysis.

Okay a bit crazy but who's counting?

We must find sanity in insanity!

"When I put a green," Matisse would later say, "it is not grass. When I put a blue, it is not the sky."
Just like how Matisse painted a color without using the color itself, we can find something from nothing!

"Nothing is absolutely the limit of nothingness...How can something be less than nothing? If there were something that was less than nothing, then nothing would not be nothing, it would be something- even though it's just a very little bit of something. But itf nothing is nothing, then nothing has nothing that is less that it is."
-Charlotte's Web, E.B. White

What about we use words that are not the words itself but they sound the same? Are they still the same? What defines words themselves? The way they look, feel and sound?

Mai henfone wos ristaud an I lawst awl mai maresages, I wos thankfoo coz I neva cood dileet them maiself an sum gaev mi bad maremaries (mammaries lol).

Does it make sense? Does anything make sense?

2010-04-27T13:39:00.000+08:00

Monday, Apr 26th, 2010 -- Relationships may be the primary source of frustration these days as someone attempts to exert control over you. Your need to express your individuality is strong and a friend or partner doesn't seem to understand what's motivating you. The more pressure you feel from others, the more likely you are to do something totally unexpected. Talking about your desires today is a smarter strategy than acting out your suppressed emotions in an extreme way.
-tarot.com

Oh it speaks for itself.

Quite a number of things happened these days. I think the most significant was that I FINALLY got my nametag back.
I know its anal, childish and stupid to want sth like that so badly, but I did say, Andsec was the most impt and will continue to be.

Class outing at Chijmes with 1308! All the photos are taken from MH. :D

The steak there is awesome.

ManU vs Tottenham.
Obviously all the guys' attention was there.

I think their dresses are so pretty!

Went to some random place to drink. Table no. 108

Only the beer came but we decided to do it anyway.

Yufen's hair is so brown.

Flaming Lamborgini. He sets fire to the vodka, you pour in baileys mixture and drink! It's super cool. Then they'll give you cold milk or water after that cos it'll be very hot.
SM said mixing hard liquor is worse than drinking it neat. O.o

SM had one.

MH and I had one.

Then SM had rum shots with the guys while I ordered Capiroshka. Just so I made the waiter pronounce it lol

The aftermath- with SM looking very cute!

Hahahhaah I can't get over how cosy everyone looks. XD

Yayy!
Super fun! More than half turned up, considering our class size, is very very good. XD
Photography outing next! Cos SM got a DSLR.
Well at least we know next outing our livers won't take a battering.

Then there was aj choir concert ytd. I think they sound best in sacred.
Lol the audience was uncouth, ill-mannered and had bad timing.

Eep.
Saw so many people I haven't seen in a long time! Like Ryan, Henry, Brenbren, Stella, Melissa(x2).

I still think I need a drink.
Enertaining is stressful business. O:

2010-04-18T23:38:00.000+08:00

After putting my paragraph into Google translation,it came out like,

The girl on crazy.
Studying Spanish is boring! But I zero life. I decided tain dre, live!You should too.To learn Spanish?
This is so difficult. I Have decided to study Italian language next!
Bleh.
Sad life.
Adios, amigo!

It is actually quite accurate and my tenses and nouns are not that shitty! I should say, not bad, considering I only learnt 10 chapters in one and a half day. I put all the random words I learnt together and came up with something an online translator understood. yayyyyyy

Argentina!

2010-04-18T20:31:00.001+08:00

La chica el loco.

Estudiar espanol es aburrido! Pero yo cero vida. Yo decidido tain dre, vivir!
Vosotros deberia too.
Para que estudias espanol?

This is so dificil. I have decidido estudiar italiano idioma next!

Bleh.

Triste vida.

Adios, amigo!

2010-04-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

"...-it was hard to tell if they were genuinely trying to help.
Or simply trying to look as if they were."
Mark Billlingham, Lifeless

Monday, Apr 12th, 2010 -- You have a high level of self-esteem, but unfortunately you may not be able to rely on it when you need it later today. What makes it even more difficult is the fact that you cannot save a positive attitude like you would a computer file, to open up at a later time. But don't let the changing circumstances throw you for a loop. Wait it out; your optimism will return in a few days.

-tarot.com

A few days? Yea sure.

Anyway I went back to andsec today when Shamini asked me.

They sounded very good, as usual. They won category champion! They are the most optimistic, unpretentious and outgoing group of kids I ever saw.

I don't know why, but don't you feel irritated when you tell someone of some success related to you, for instance my juniors' triumph, and they dismiss it and harp on their own choir's achievements.

"Uh, okay...my own choir won..."

Don't you get it? I was already shut off from your third word.

Sorry, past achievements may be impressive. But its OVER.

I am sort of pissed at people who always refer to themselves anyway. Like they think they're the greatest. It's sad and its sorry, and it's ugly.

The other time in Reader's Digest, there was an article about your message for people when you don't pick up the phone. "Sorry I'm out, but you could leave a message after the bleep."

"*Outtatune singing...this is ____! Leave a message! I'm not free now."

Okay the article says that speaking with a smile's important. You could also sound more upbeat by simply standing up when you're recording. It would improve the mood of the caller if you sound happy. After all,what have you, happiness is infectious.

You could also say, "You have reached John and Mary's home. We're not home now so please leave a message for us."

By using "You", it shows you are more considerate towards the other person, and this makes the caller feel more important.

What a world of difference a word makes.

And what a happy person it'll make.

But sometimes all I can see is these self-help and self-improvement and stuff. Shows how many people tend to be utterly insensitive. So perhaps they should just pick up these books and memorise the techniques and cue-words.

Save the people around them a hell load of anguish and depression.

I mean,it's okay to step on toes now and then.

We're all learning, aren't we?

But what do we make of those who never learn?

2010-04-11T23:55:00.000+08:00

Sunday, Apr 11th, 2010 -- You could have stars in your eyes today, tempting you to reach beyond your normal limits. On one hand, this can lead to something wonderful as you take an opportunity you might otherwise pass by. But on the other hand, you could upset the security that you've worked to achieve by gambling your future on a risky venture. There's no simple answer to the choice you must make, so consider all options carefully before saying yes.

-tarot.com

So after reading Chris Manby's Getting Personal, something interesting...

Let's say about 51% of our population's female.

Of the guys, approximately 20% would be under 18.

30% would be over 50.

And 10% would be gay.

And a good 50%of the remaining are married,

with another 50% happily attached.

Minus those still living with their mothers.

How many percent left of these whom I might actually fancy?

Do the math.

2010-04-11T11:46:00.005+08:00

Saturday, Apr 10th, 2010 -- Your moodiness today can be more annoying to others than you realize. You might not understand why someone is acting standoffish toward you until you become aware that your current pickiness might be perceived as negativity. But your true motives will shine through if you can let go of your fear of failure. A temporary lack of focus won't jeopardize your big plans for the future.
-tarot.com

Ng,

It's hard to address the topic of health and wellness with you right now, because you are a little obsessed with it all of a sudden. A small ache, pain or cough is not a sign of impending disaster! If you are not going to do anything about it but worry, keep in mind stressing yourself out is not healthy!
-fb

Bbq at HM's house!
Then swam. Really very fun!
Very sick and tired of continual headaches though. Sick shit.
Perhaps I might go get a lobotomy.
Might calm down more, like.

Saw this vid randomly. Veron just passed her theory test! In no time, I will have more friends who'll be driving. O:

2010-04-07T23:03:00.000+08:00

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You think you're great
but my best friend beats you.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
My best friend is awesome,
awesomer than you!

Last day at SNEC was awesome! Everyone was being super sweet and saying they'll miss me. Hoho. And I got a chocolate bunny from Sister Tay. ^.^
But the most awesome present was the roses I got!
They were SUBLIME.
THANKS WOMAN!! :D:D:D
She totally got them from a florist and the color is CRAZY!!
I can't believe it. She always gets me roses for random occasions and its so damn nice. Come to think of it, all the guys added together never gave me half as many flowers as she did. This is one awesome friend. *>*
I keep smiling at the roses.
Did I tell you abt the color?

So many words kept rolling ard in my mind when I look at it. Flowers are inspiration, let me just say.
I only write when I'm depressed, but now, flowers seem to do it too. And that high is just so...different.
THANKYOU!!!!!!!!
I keep writing bunches of nonsense now wee!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
You got your rose,
But I totally got two!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Why care about flowers,
When my love for you is true?

I found these on a poetry forum, very funny, some of them!

Violets are blue
Roses are red
My feelings for you
Are completely dead.
-natalie84

Roses are red
Violets are blue
look at all the pain
you put me through.
-elaine

Roses are red
Violets are blue
God gave me looks
What the hell happened to you?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet
and so are you.
But the roses are wilting,
and the violets are dead.
The sugar bowl's empty,
and so was your head.
-bbqrl

Mew tired, goodnight!

2010-04-07T16:37:00.002+08:00

Thursday, Apr 8th, 2010 -- You aren't interested in trying to wrap words around your point of view now, for every time you speak up, you just seem to lead others further away from your truth. This can be rather confusing because you know exactly why you believe what you do. Nevertheless, it's not something you can easily communicate now, so leave the complex explanations for another day.

2010-04-02T19:00:00.001+08:00

I found this on P's blog and decided to take it too! I don't know if it's true or not.I suppose it is quite.

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2010-04-01T20:53:00.000+08:00

Remarks from Office of Admissions, NUS

DOCUMENTS RECEIVED (2010-04-01 12:14)

HAHAHAH *hysterical.

Okay okay. Calm down.

I quit my job today! LOL. Okay Mon is officially my last day.
I wonder how my boss took it.
Her: *scolds
Me: Oh dear I know I'm so sorry. Won't be a next time. Btw, I quit.

Mew.

I AM FREE.

Okay I felt quite bad about leaving so early like way before Pamela but she very nicely told me she rather I leave and she doesn't want to see me in such a bad state.

Lol I'm so touched!! YAY

:D

:D

I puked like twice today. Okay I didn't. There was nothing to puke. So drama, halfway talking to colleague then cover my mouth and run off. (Like in tv, yknow)
Then when I came back she was like, "How?"
"Nothing la! You know I don't eat breakfast. What you mean how. Lol"

O: It's 3 months!

I was debating with Pamela about morning sickness and she said, "First trimester."
Me, "Trimester? (Dumb sec sch bio student)
Ohh. Like...3 months." (Thinks of semester.)

And some old guy said I looked poorly and told me to take care cos I'm only very young. HAHA I look that bad. Only very young. Only very young then...?

My sister took my poem to post on her blog cos she says she likes it. I feel so honoured. Though it's a shitty emo poem and nothing ever comes out of shitty poems, it still makes me feel good.

I can start my paint-my-room project now! YES.

That time talked to P till 5am. Omg. P, I tell you, if I ever have a kid, I will totally name him/her after one character. HAHAHA. My unfortunate kid has such the luck for a parent who is determined to saddle him/her with funny names. Lol

At least it's not Talula does the Hula or sth. (Read pamela's blog LOL)

Mew.

I alr picked out my future pet's names.
One will be Tobey, after Tobey my dog who looks like a cat.
And one will be Tamisinia, (Tammy for short) a furry cat who looks like a dog.

Yipee! And a turtle called Snapper. You know, like a fish.

HAHAHAHA.

2010-03-27T13:39:00.003+08:00

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

2010-03-27T12:28:00.000+08:00

For the Week of Mar 29th, 2010 -- You have two distinctly different sides, Pisces. One is careful and super sensitive and the other is willing to go whichever way the wind blows. It's the wilder part of you that's likely to be in charge this weekend. Go out and have a good time as long as you remember that this is all about having fun rather than making a commitment or settling down.
-tarot.com

For someone who doesn't seem to notice an detail at all, I rmbed someone I met at A. He was this super good looking Indian guy. And he was a construction worker. And he was only 20 years old (I saw his work permit), one year older than me.

What the hell. And I'm being such a self-absorbed ass, always thinking I don't have enough.
I'm not assuming his life is sad.
I just don't think he has it easy.
So, for every snide comment about others I make, I'll keep thinking of how they can't help it anyway.

Like the time at PizzaHut with W, and being the social snobs we were, we gave disgusted glances, glared or rolled our eyes whenever the diners at the next table whistled loudly for the waiter and made gross remarks about...toilet habits.
When they were gone, we unanimously said "Boor-ish" was the word to describe them. We then went on to talk about the couple's kid, who would naturally learn much from his obviously well-educated parents, and proceed to be likewise despised.

I don't claim to be ashamed because they did made me feel nauseated and lose my appetite. And it is only common sense to shut up about shit -yea, literally- when at a restaurant.
But I think for all the horror I channelled their way, it'll be payback in karma for me, when in my next life, I actually find humour in shit.

I really don't know what to think.
Let's just not go to PizzaHut next time, shall we?

Sometimes when people treat you badly, your first thought would be revenge. Which is what would be if I actually quit. Payback is best served cold, and if I lose out, so do you.
For all the worldly knowledge gleaned from working so long, one would expect the other to be more understanding.
Hell, no.
For some people, if they don't have it, they'd rather you not have it too, though it benefits them none and causes the former plenty of pain.

Which would not have been much of an issue if the extra effort was suitably acknowledged.
It becomes sticky when one person gives in, yet is dealt all sorts of accusations and annoyance.
And stickier when the accusations were actually unfounded, and horribly twisted and untrue.

Rats really say all sorts of stuff they can make up just to save their asses.
And I'm just not small-minded enough to point fingers back and rub it in.
We do appreciate being treated with an open heart and understanding. However one can only stand so much mean-ness and calculative behaviour.

I'd say, yes, it would be irresponsible if I just ran off and you were short-handed. It would have been my fault.
But again, I have no real motivation or attachment to be so dedicated when the permanents are so laissez faire.

–noun,plural-ties.

marital disloyalty; adultery.

unfaithfulness; disloyalty.

lack of religious faith, esp. Christian faith.

a breach of trust or a disloyal act; transgression.

-dictionary.reference.com

I'm giving you a chance. Back off before its too late.

Lucky I've got a best friend who'll have my back. Ha, you've nth. Get the hell away from me.

2010-03-21T19:46:00.000+08:00

For the Week of Mar 22nd, 2010 -- The Moon's shift into your 7th House of Partnerships should stir up your personal life on Saturday. Trying to please an overly critical person, though, can be frustrating. Still, if you're willing to make a few adjustments, it could bring new life to an ongoing relationship or provide enough clarity to allow you to advance in a new romance.

Sunday, Mar 21st, 2010 -- You might feel like a beached fish, longing for the nurturing nutrients of the fluid seas. But the energy is flowing mostly through fire and air signs now, drying up your emotions. Don't waste your time complaining about the lack of watery feelings in your life, just let others know of your sincere intentions. You have plenty to do before the tides change again.
-tarot.com

NONONO.The only person I'm pleasing is MYSELF.
It's been so long since

So many things to do!
And so little time.

Lollipop, Mika
Hey, what's the big idea?

Yo Mika.

I said,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down,
I said,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down.

Sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down.
Say love, say love,
or love's gonna get you down.
say love, say love,
or love's gonna get you down.

I went walking in with my mama one day,
when she warn me what people say,
live your life until love is found,
'cause love's gonna get you down.
Take a look at the girl next door,
she's a player and a down right whore,
Jesus slows up, she wants more,
oh bad girls get you down.

Singing,
Sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down.
Say love, say love,
or love's gonna get you down.
say love, say love,
or love's gonna get you down.

Mama told me what I should know,
too much candy gonna ride your soul,
if she loves you, let her go,
'cause love only gets you down.
Take a look at the boy like me,
never stood on my own two feet,
now I'm blue, as I can be,
oh love couldn't get me down.

Singing,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down.
Say love, say love,
or love's gonna get you down.
say love, say love,
or love's gonna get you down.

I went walking with my mama one day,
when she warn me what people say,
live your life until love is found,
or love's gonna get you down.

Singing,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down.
Say love (say love), say love (say love),
or love's gonna get you down.
say love (say love), say love (say love),
or love's gonna get you down.

Mama told me what I should know,
too much candy gonna ride your soul,
if she loves you, let her go,
'cause love only gets you down.

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, lollipop.
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh, whoa-oh, lollipop.

Sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down,
say,
sucking too hard on your lollipop,
or love's gonna get you down
(lyricsmania.com)

Remember what you told me.
Remember what you told me.
Remember what you told me,
told me, told me.
(Waking Up In Vegas, Katy Perry.)

hello people!

Clinique Long Last Lipstick in 17 Watermelon

Rimmel Moisture Renew Lipstick in 440 Plumful

Beauty Blog

in·fi·del·i·ty